Post by mattieterzian on Aug 27, 2015 1:14:42 GMT 1
"GOD'S LIVING BIBLE ---- THE THIRD TESTAMENT ---- GOD'S NEW REVELATIONS ©
Questions To God from Messiahs - Healers - Apostles and Their Wisdom
The Testament of Apostle Mattie Terzian
'My story begins with what got me here in the first place. A need to know, how I got here?
In 2011 was when the Spiritual Journeys genuinely began. I was at a point in my life where all the pieces of my choices where becoming too much to bear.
My story is no different than any other stories. There are different people, different situations but many are living the same story in many different variations. I lived a life filled with pain, suffering and lies. I was raised to believe my parents knew what was best for me. My parents made the rules and I had to follow. My family went to church every Sunday, a place for worship and learn about God our Father.
I was taught God Loved me unconditionally, but only if I followed all His Commands with concepts of Heaven and Hell. This is how my parents raised me. Not truly knowing, believing what was being taught at church, mixed with rules their parents taught them, believing they where doing the right thing.
I grew up in a home of many contradictions, filled with (what I thought was love) and pain. These contradictions are what lead me to more pain and suffering. It made me feel as if what I truly wanted in life was illusive.
I was beat and told it was because, they loved me and it was for my own good. Abused and told not to share our family secrets, leaving me with a feeling there of no way out and powerless.
My Mother was what kept us together. She was the one who expressed love and my father who provided. He always reminded of us of his debt to him for giving us life. I would pray, with fear in my heart. I would pray hoping God was Hearing me. I didn't truly know Him.
In 1985, my brother who was 20 years of age was killed in a car accident, this is when I started my Spiritual Journey.
I was afraid for my brother. I heard my older brother crying saying that my little brother was going to Hell. I was scared for him. This lead me on the path back to my True Creator.
On the day after his funeral, I had a dream of my brother on a motorcycle. I was seeing him drive away, as he drove away he turned to me and suddenly his face turned into a demonic face. I was scared and began praying in my sleep. God Sent me people always of His with a message of His True Love for me. Many times I questioned my faith.
I hit many bumps, stumbled and kept going.
In 2011, I was at the point where the choice in my life where so painful, I truly wanted out. I thought a way back to God was suicide. Deep down all the Messages God Sent me, where not about going to Hell. The Messages I was Receiving were about getting me out of this Hell. These experiences and errors I kept repeating and couldn't get out of. His Messages where a way to return to Love. A way out of a life of contradictions. Good and Bad, Judgements, I had made with choices; I had made. My True Creator, of Pure Love Asked always if I wanted to give up judgement of myself.
I thought of suicide and was slowly killing myself. I was on so many pain killers, thinking I wanted relief from back pain, but deep inside I knew I wanted out.
I had two daughter's I loved but, thought I needed the drugs in order to take care of them. The drugs gave me a false sense of being happy and numbing at the same time. However, the drugs weren't hiding the pain I wanted to hide. The thought of wanting God's daughter dead, me. I wanted to punish Him for letting me be born to a father that raped me at four years old, Who made me live with a monster, that asked me to keep a secrets of conditions. I wish on no One, ever to repeating in any form or way.
I was carrying around with me the memories of my past, it seemed no matter what I did I couldn't get rid of them or people in my life, who were suffering right along with me.
All wanted was my, True Father/Mother,God, that is all. Just peace and joy without guilt that Jesus Christ, spoke of and wasn't being taught in any religion I had been part of or heard of. They where riddled with sacrifice of pain and suffering, with Love as a way to keep me lost.
In 2011, February 10th, 7 days after my birthday. I Received my Gift from God in a form of a book. I smile at the memory, I remember saying this is the greatest birthday ever, my wish was Answered. It was a way back home. Deep down inside of me, the place where the Kingdom I carry, with me and goes with me, in my every moment in life and is Eternal, the place Jesus Christ lead me to, My True Heaven.
The Course in Miracles, is the book He Sent me. Reminding me the true and only way out is My Holy Spirit, which is in everyone of His children, Us, His One Son.
It is now August, 8 2015. I Am Now working with God, Guided by my Holy Spirit, Which Jesus, Krishna and other Light and Truth sayers are here to Light the way out of darkness, back to God, Who Hears our cries for Joy and is here Offering Mercy, through forgiveness of myself.
I have found the way out from this World of contrition, is Love of Self. God only Asking me to give up the love I have in Hating myself, only giving gifts of presents, filled with pain and suffering. The fear I felt before was just that, fear that is all. I choose to only sacrifice fear now, the God of Love to hate, for my Soul's Salvation.
God Asks us all, the chosen Ones. Everyone and everything, to take our part in His Plan for Salvation. This World is a chance to save ourselves, in asking myself for forgiveness and taking my Guide, our Holy Spirit. Ask God for your Gift back, filling our empty souls, with the Holy Spirit, Who is God. Already within us, only Asking for you to surrender, self hate.
I Now ask God for my Gift back, of my Holy Spirit, no question this is my one true wish and know God Gives Truly.
This is my wish for everyone and everything. I offer my gifts to everyone of Peace of Mind and receive and make mine for Peace of Mind. God gives truly.
I promised God I would give my life to Him willingly, just for love and love of my brothers and sisters, being of service to God's Cause of Love, returning to Him what belongs to Him. My Soul to fill with His Holy Spirit. Thank You God.
Thank You God for all the people that lead me to You and ask to be their Light that leads them back to You.